Pills and more pills

Making the choice to go on medication for any sort of problem can be huge. Two years ago my therapist suggested I go on antidepressants to help with my overwhelming suicidal thoughts.

At first I did not want to. I thought I would make it through this season and all I needed

was talk therapy to get by. But days turned into weeks and I still was seriously struggling with my depression and anxiety. So I took the plunge to try using medicine to make me feel better.

Guys I’ll be honest, finding the right medicine for me took six long months. I would try a new pill almost once a month and increase my dose until I could not go any higher.

Every time nothing worked. I wouldn’t feel any better and often times I felt nauseous. It was awful.

One of the worst experiences for me was having withdrawal. I had been taking one medicine for probably six weeks and it was not helping so my doctor switched me to the next brand on a list my psychiatrist made for me.

It was possibly two of the worst days of 2017. I had been uncontrollably crying for hours, I couldn’t stop the tears no matter how hard I tried. I felt nauseous, anxious and that I was actually losing my shit. I was absolutely terrified.

I called my boyfriend who had been at home with a cold to come over on a Sunday afternoon. He didn’t quite understand what was happening either but he held me while I cried and watched Star Wars.

Only after speaking to my therapist during the week I found out that I was experiencing withdrawal.

Don’t let my experience scare you or make you doubt that antidepressants can help people. Once I found my right medicine at the right dose, it all worked out. I have been on it for a year and a half and I’m doing pretty good!

I’m sorry this is so long!! I just had a lot to say about the topic of medicine for mental illness. I hope my story helped you to better understand how it can benefit people and give you the strength to go on medicine if that is the right choice for you.

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