Perfection

Something I’ve struggled with for a long time is wanting to be perfect.

I think a lot of us think that wanting to be perfect is the same as a perfectionist but it’s not in my case. I’m definitely not a perfectionist in most aspects of my life.

In school I never tried to be the best at everything or even to get straight As. It goes the same for any activity I’ve ever done, like music or sports, I knew being perfect in those areas wasn’t attainable and I was fine with it.

In every day life is where I struggle with the fact that I am not perfect.

When I make a mistake or say the wrong thing, I beat the shit out of myself for it. I ruminate on whatever error I made, replaying it over until it makes me sick. I ask myself why I did whatever I did and why I wasn’t smart/good enough to evade this error in the first place. It makes me ask myself why I was even put on this planet if I’m going to be such a failure.

Today I’m struggling because I’m not perfect. So often I wish that I was so I wouldn’t go through this process of being sad and mad at myself.

Failure makes me want to hide from the world and from myself. Sadly, it’s really hard to escape yourself. I can’t leave my body or my brain!

Do you ever struggle with the fact that nobody is perfect?

3 Comments

  1. OMG yes I struggle daily. I feel that I should know how to protect myself against the meanness of others that happened thru my own stupid decisions. Learning to love myself even tho I’m far from perfect thru bad mistakes and all is not easy.
    I was like I should have been smarter than that. I’ve become smarter in this area in my fifties where I sit in a learning place of my own. Lol, I’m here in this place in my life now bc of bad decisions but God has turned it into a lesson for me in His love and gentleness. Join me in my journey in my new blog site and I think we have a lot in common for the most part. I feel you when you write.
    Tweaking advice welcomed and appreciated ❤️ thanks for posting such hope for people.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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