Basically Friendless

For ages my therapist has been encouraging me to try to make some friends. She asks me on a semi-regular basis whether I’ve made any new friends or if I’ve hung out with any friends since I’ve seen her last (I have sessions once a month since I’ve been doing well mentally).

Often the answer is no.

Right now I have one good friend that I work with and speak to outside of work. We talk about our personal lives and text/call each other rather regularly. She’s really the only one.

It’s pretty sad when I reflect on the fact that I don’t really have any friends anymore. All of my best friends from high school live in different states, none of my college friends live nearby and former co-worker friends have drifted away.

I feel jealous sometimes because I feel like everybody has friends but me. I wish I had a friend that I could get coffee with or go shopping with.

As an adult I don’t know how you can make friends outside of work and religious gatherings. I don’t believe in any religion, I don’t join clubs, I’m not into the bar/pub scene and when I go to the gym I don’t speak to anybody.

My therapist has made so many suggestions on how to make friends but I shoot them down.

I often spend time with my family or my boyfriend when I’m hanging out with other humans. I visit my grandmother on a regular basis especially since she has been quite ill. I sometimes will take my younger cousin out for lunch or shopping. I spend time with my mom and brother pretty often as well.

Family is important to me but I think that concept only came about because I don’t have friends to occupy my time anymore.

I mainly spend my time alone.

I read books, practice Japanese, read the news, watch YouTube and watch tv shows or movies. I write on here too!

I’m more introverted so I don’t hate spending most of my free time alone. But there are times, like tonight, when I wish that I had a friend to hang out with.

10 Comments

  1. I totally understand your feelings. I don’t have any friends either. I’m a stay at home mom so my interactions with other adults are very limited. If I do hang out with anyone it’s my family.

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    1. I definitely feel you on that one. Also when you’re really struggling, the average person isn’t going to be there for you when you need them the most. Those supportive friends are few and far between.

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  2. Again, another post where I definitely empathize 1000%. I don’t have many friends, very few I see even on a semi “regular” basis. Recently I’ve also had an argument with my friend that I was talking to all the time and spending time with, so that’s not even quite back to normal yet. So mostly just hanging out by myself. I definitely struggle with meeting new people and making new friends.

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    1. That sucks that you are your friend had an argument! I hope that you two can resolve it soon. It’s so hard to meeting new people and especially turning those people into friends. I don’t know how people do it!

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