Chronic Pain and Mental Health

Since May I have been dealing with lower back pain. At the beginning it was severe and prevented me from functioning normally.

A couple weeks ago I finished up my sessions with my chiropractor (my insurance has run out and I don’t have any more visits left) I was feeling awesome. Literally the next day I was in pain. The pain continues to get worse and it is incredibly frustrating.

I don’t want to go back to the chiropractor, with weekly visits the money really adds up. Sadly it is a luxury to try and receive the medical care that I need.

It makes me so frustrated that I have to live with this chronic pain. I can’t live my life to the fullest because of my back pain. I can’t exercise to the level I desire. Cleaning my bath tub makes the pain so uncomfortable that I end up neglecting it for ages because I don’t want to be in anymore pain. Even going to work and sitting in meetings is painful.

My depression tells me that this pain will be forever. That I will always have to deal with this struggle and not be able to function at full capacity ever again. I won’t ever get to live a pain free life because my body decided to revolt against me.

I’m starting to believe my depression. It’s been months and I have been going up and down with my pain. I want it to stop, I want to move on from this and be happy.

But maybe that’s all just a fantasy.

2 Comments

  1. Reading this late but I really hope things have improved for you since writing this. Chronic pain ends up being the centre of your day, it defines what you can and can’t do and what type of person you’re going to be that day (I find, anway) – it’s horrible but today’s pain levels might not be the same as tomorrow’s and although I believe some level of depression is inevitable with chronic pain (these two go hand in hand for me during a flare), talking to others in a similar position helps. If you ever want to rant, share your experiences or talk about it, drop me a message.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you for your comment, Joel! I totally agree with you about depression being inevitable with chronic pain. You can’t do the things you once could which is frustrating!

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