Since September I have been telling myself that I need to find balance. That I am not able to balance everything going on in my life plus the things I need/want to have in my life.
My entire theme of 2020 was going to be about finding balance. During some reflection, I realized that deep down it’s about finding perfection, not balance.
I know I will never be perfect but I have struggled for a long time about wanting to be perfect. To be the perfect writer, girlfriend, daughter, sister, friend and all around human.
A balanced life is a perfect life in my eyes. Being able to juggle everything without having a meltdown every other week would be great! (Yeah that’s something I need to talk to my therapist about.)
I think I’ve been kidding myself with all this talk of balance. Yes I do want to have a more balanced life but I need to remind myself that I will never achieve a perfect life (or even a perfectly balanced one).
With this refreshed thought process about balance I need to reevaluate the word. How can I strive for balance without being swallowed whole by anxiety then dropped at the bottom of a hole with my depression?
Sigh. I left a message for my therapist so I hope I can get in next week.
Do you have anything you’re striving to achieve in 2020? Leave me a comment and tell me!