Fear of Failing

I have begun a massive project at work which is good for me but also giving me boat loads of anxiety.

I have been kinda bored at work because I don’t have any pressure put on me or any deadlines to meet. I’m a journalist by trade so I will probably forever have the mentality of a reporter even though I’m sadly not in that line of work right now.

My supervisor asked me in December to look into online scheduling for a testing service we provide for the community. There are 2 offices, the one I’m at has a full staff and space to do the testing. The other one is small and doesn’t have many staff members to carry the work load.

So I diligently did my work and found a great fit for the organization. But now that the wheels are in motion to make this a real thing, my anxiety is clawing at my insides.

Staff at the second office voiced concerns that made me doubt myself even though they were legit questions. I felt nervous and attacked even though that wasn’t the case at all.

Nobody enjoys failure but I am terrified of falling flat on my ass in front of all my coworkers. My boss sought me out to work here, I would hate to disappoint her by failing at my first big project.

I’m worried about every little bump in the road that could derail everything.

Yes, failing in life is part of life but I have always been afraid of it. If I fail, it confirms that I’m not good enough. It fuels my depression and anxiety.

Are you afraid of failure? How do you cope if you do fail?

6 Comments

  1. I hope it does work out. And if it doesn’t, it’s not that you’re not good enough, it’s that the idea didn’t turn out to be the right fit. Failing at a task and failing as a person are two very different things.

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  2. I don’t deal well with the idea of failure. Strangely enough, I cope really well IN the moment of crisis.

    One tactic I use when dreading an event is to sort-of picture what things will be like afterwards. Like: the night before a surgery, I talked to myself about how I’d be doing this-and-that the very next night.

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  3. Hi Megan, I hope some of your anxiety has been resolved after the week has passed. I was reading your post and I was thinking, you “So I diligently did my work and found a great fit for the organization”. To me that says so much about you and your work ethic. Not unusual for others to have doubt with a newcomer joins a team. I do hope your week has seen you realise you are able, and support your own choices. I dont do anything to fail at so I have no response to the failure question.

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