Hey everyone I hope you’re surviving the holiday season! I know that this can be a very difficult time for people. I am sending you all the positive energy my soul can muster!
Anyway, I’ve been at my new job for exactly 1 month. I have my good days and I have my bad days in regards to my social anxiety and depression.
Yesterday I sat alone in my office for over half the day. I could barely focus on my work so I did a lot of scrolling on my phone to pass the time.
But on the plus side one of my basement dwelling coworkers invited me to join his wife and others for a Dungeons and Dragons campaign! This is something I enjoy playing and am not afraid to share it with you all. If you haven’t judged me yet I think I can share this tidbit about myself.
Being in the basement allows me to hear the muffled conversations happening above me. I kept hearing my one coworker laugh and felt two ways at once: I wanted to be up there laughing too but also I wanted to curl up and hide. It’s challenging to find a balance of sitting alone doing my work and being social with my coworkers.
I wish all of this was easier for me.
We have a holiday party on Friday and I’m getting nervous about it. I’m worried if I’ll have anybody to talk to. At my last two jobs our holiday parties were always outside of the office. The newspaper sent us over to a hotel restaurant (the food is always bad) and my most recent job at the women’s shelter, we went out to dinner as well. We got to bring guests so I always had someone to speak with!
This time around I know it will be awkward. Maybe they’ll let me bring my dog in so then I’ll at least have some company. I can’t bring my two cats, they’re too evil to be out in public, hahaha!
How do you manage holiday work parties if you have social anxiety? Do you have any tricks that help you relax?
It took me a week to ask my coworker if he could connect my computer to the printer. A WEEK! I had no reason to be nervous to ask but my anxiety had me in a chokehold. I had spoken to him numerous times about a variety of topics, he’s a nice dude from what I can tell. But there was something holding me back from asking for help.
My anxiety said, “Megan you’ve had him do so much shit on your computer already, stop asking for help, he’s probably annoyed.” His job is IT guy so it’s what they pay him to do!
On Wednesday and Thursday I had my head between my legs to try and calm myself down because I was so anxious. I tried to listen to some of my favorite pop music to lift me up but it didn’t help.
Every time I get a new job my mental health takes a nose dive. During my 8 hour days I am buzzing with anxiety over speaking to my coworkers and trying to make a good first impression for my boss and supervisor. I leave the office and my mood drops into a depressive state. I force myself to keep busy so I don’t get caught up in my head.
I hope that this anxiety and depression does not last for ages.
Another week, another Working On Us prompt from Ashley at Mental Health @ Home! Check out her original post here.
- Do you own a pet for emotional support and/or service/therapy?
My cats didn’t come into my life for that specific purpose but they definitely help me as emotional support. When I start feeling depressed or anxious I know I can cuddle with my cats. They give me a purpose too. That they would be sad if I wasn’t around anymore.
- Is your pet a certified therapy animal? No.
- What kind of pet do you own? I have 3 cats.
- Do you believe that support animals truly assist those in need? Absolutely.
- Do you believe that any animal can be a therapy/support pet? Yes! Any animal can be supportive.
Describe how your pet is of support to you?
I’ve been pretty depressed lately which makes me lay around in bed a lot. My cats often jump up and lay right next to me, almost as if they’re saying, “I love you and I want to show you that you’re important to me.” They don’t do it at night as often but just having one in my bed makes me feel so much better.
My anxiety is with me when I go to bed and wake up in the morning. It comes with me in the shower, rides in the front seat with me in my car and hangs out in my office at work.
It’s with me on my commute home and sits next to me while I watch the latest season of “The Flash” on Netflix. Anxiety sits in the baby seat in my cart at the grocery store and is lifting weights by my side at the gym.
I feel that I cannot shake anxiety. It is stuck to me like glue.
I have been using CBD oil to try and combat it but it only helps so much. It doesn’t get rid of the racing thoughts, tightness in my chest (that’s not from asthma) or anything like that. It calms me for a bit but then I’m right back to feeling anxious.
My anxiety isn’t intense but it’s more frequent than it has been in a while. Which I don’t appreciate.
For some reason I’m worried about adopting the right cat at the cat cafe that I volunteer at. I worry that some of them won’t get adopted because they’re older (I don’t think they’re old but some people might), are shy/reserved or they aren’t physically pristine on the outside. One of them stress licks his fur off and another had an eye issue but is healed, his face just looks a little different but he’s cute.
I worry that they’ll get sent back to the SPCA where they’ll be euthanized. I don’t wish that for any cat which is why I don’t support the SPCA as an organization. The cafe cats just happen to come from there.
This isn’t the main reason for my anxiety but it certainly adds to it.
As I’ve written about in previous posts, I’ve been working through a difficult bout of emotional/stress binge eating.
For the first time in weeks, today I felt in control. It was odd but also great! My mind partially wanted to dive into my bingey habits but I was able to resist them and focus on other tasks at work.
I ate a large soft pretzel as a mid-morning snack which held me over for hours. It seems that if I have something hearty and sustaining the urge to binge isn’t nearly as strong.My body and mind recognize that I’m full and I don’t need anything more.
I feel proud of myself for being in control today! I got a little snackish (a term meaning you want to eat a lot of snacks) once I got home from work. I had some control over myself so I didn’t go crazy.
Keeping up the control is going to be challenging but I hope that I can do it!
Leave me a comment about the best part of your week! I would love to hear how you all are doing 🙂
P.S. — The photo is Animal in “The Muppets Movie” from a few years ago when he’s in anger management and says, “In control.” Here’s a video clip for reference.
You said it, Elvis!
I seem to always have some annoying health issue going on. At the beginning of the year I was having serious issues with my asthma then I hurt my lower back which caused me severe pain. Now I’m having tremors in my hands.
As many of you who’ve been reading my blog for a while know I love makeup. I love doing my makeup, talking about it, looking at it, all that stuff. I noticed the tremors when I was putting on my mascara and eyeliner a week or two ago.
I thought, “That’s weird. I’ve never been shaky like this before.”
Since then it seems to only be getting worse. It’s worse in the morning then it usually mellows out for the most part by the end of the day. I’m really feeling it this morning so my anxious mind is taking this and running with it.
It’s calming down a little after eating breakfast at the office.
I get so anxious about health related shit. Right now I worry that this is a sign of early on-set Parkinson’s, ALS or MS. I really hope it’s not and it’s something else. The thought of that makes me want to throw up.
I did a little reading and you can have shaky hands from a B12 deficiency, a thyroid issue (which runs in my family) or reacting badly to caffeine.
I’ve rarely had a issue with caffeine, I know my limits and what causes jitters. I can’t drink the very popular cold brew drinks, they have me wired and shaking.
As for B12 I am a vegetarian so getting regular doses of B12 doesn’t always happen. I have started taking supplements for it but it does not seem to be making a difference.
My anxiety is on high. I have an appointment with my doctor but it’s not until next week. I don’t think I can worry I have Parkinson’s for 5 more days.
Cross your fingers for me that I can get in today or tomorrow!
For most of my life I’ve struggled with my weight. For years I took comfort in food which naturally resulted in weight gain.
I’ve hit this point in my life again.
For years if I was struggling with depression or anxiety I couldn’t eat. My stomach would be in knots or I wouldn’t be hungry. Now it’s the total opposite, like I’ve gone back to old habits.
I’m trying to lose weight for my brother’s wedding but my issue with food is very much getting in the way of that. I also am still recovering from a lower back issue so I can only exercise at a very low intensity with breaks between workouts.
Imagine if your 90 year-old grammy was exercising. It’s like that. (I love my 90 year-old grammy just for the record!)
I’m going through a period of depression and anxiety so I know why I’m comfort eating, but I don’t know why my body has switched from under eating to overeating.
What about you? Do you have a challenging relationship with food?