I have been feeling extra cranky, I’m not sure if it’s because of the quarantine or because I’m going to have my period soonish. Whichever the reason, my patience is thin.
Any small issue I get instantly annoyed. I came back from the grocery store and was drying off my dog after she went out into the yard in the rain. As I ran the towel over her head I sensed myself being irritated for no reason.
I said to her, “I’m feeling cranky and it’s only 10:30 a.m.”
Even writing this post I am feeling tired, angry and want to sleep so I don’t have to deal with myself.
I hate being cranky, my own crankiness annoys me which makes me more cranky. It’s a real cycle that I hate.
To nip this in the butt I am going to be easy on myself today. I won’t expect myself to do a hundred tasks, clean the house top to bottom or anything like that. I am going to care for myself so this doesn’t get worse.
I’m on the verge of tears.
I want to scream.
I want to punch a punching bag until I wear myself out.
I want to lay in bed until the afternoon.
All for no real reason.
I’ve been working from home for exactly one week now so I don’t see many people anymore. Which is the case for most people across the globe. Naturally I rarely go out except to get food or go to the grocery store.
My mom calls me, I text my brother and a few friends but that’s about it.
I had been doing alright up until yesterday when I was bursting at the seams. I was about to lose it especially after I dragged all of my recycling to the recycling center to find it was closed! They took all the bins away!!
While I was working I texted my brother, “I’m so cranky I can’t even handle myself.”
It’s depression, it’s anxiety, it’s a longing to have life as it once was which I’m sure this is a worldwide feeling. I am not the only one feeling this.
My mental state was in good shape up until yesterday. I honestly thought I could handle this situation. I thought that I could be happy staying in my home with my boyfriend (when he’s not in work), pets, food and internet access.
I have been doing things that I enjoy first thing in the morning like exercising, reading, writing and learning. Maybe it’s not enough, maybe I need more.
How are you coping? Are you cracking or keeping yourself together?