I had a little meltdown tonight. There were no tears or shouting but my thoughts were speeding down an icy road ready to slip off a cliff.
I have been feeling so lazy lately. I just don’t feel like putting the effort towards much. Today I ran the dishwasher because, you know, I ran out of forks. The dishes are still sitting in there as I type this.
I feel guilty that I am not keeping a pristine house. I feel like a whale because I haven’t been making healthy food.
The recycling center is closed so there’s a mountain of recyclables on my side porch. I was supposed to put them in the basement. Have I done that yet? Nope.
These dumb chores taunt me. They tell me I am lazy and because I am lazy, I suck.
Yes, the plastic bottles tell me I suck! What is quarantine doing to me?
Why does productivity change the value we see in ourselves? I’m really not sure what the answer is so please leave me a comment if you have an answer!
Is it the drive of perfectionism?
Is it the expectations people have put on us whether it be past or present?
Since I have been feeling like shit, my therapist in the past has had me say some positive things to change my mindset.
3 things going well:
– I spoke with 3 clients on the phone for work even though I was really nervous about it
– It’s snowing outside and I like snow (does this count? I say it does)
– With the stimulus check from the government I am able to save money I wouldn’t have had otherwise
3 things I can do to make myself content/okay/happy this weekend:
– Enjoy the snow while it’s here
– Take time to read
– Do my makeup
3 things to remind myself:
– Your value is not in the number of dust particles you clean up
– You are important to your cats and dog
– It’s okay
Sending positive vibes your way!