I’m An Ambivert

Let’s get the definition of an ambivert out of the way. An ambivert is someone who has some qualities of both an introvert and an extrovert, we are sort of a blend of spices.

Sometimes I hear people talk about introverts and extroverts incorrectly, it’s not about whether somebody is social or not, it’s about how one gains their energy. Introverts gain energy by being alone while extroverts gain energy by being with others. Simple.

As a young teenager and as a child I felt more like an introverted individual, I would spend a lot of time alone reading books and listening to music on my CD player or iPod. Classic. After school I would retreat to my room to recharge.

But once I got to high school and college, I loved spending time with my different friend groups. The time we spent together gave me so much energy that when I was alone for too long, I felt totally drained.

I’m 25 now and I have grown into someone who sits somewhere in the middle which was at first a really strange adapting. I had gone from needing to spend time with friends and family to needing my space to keep myself sane.

After I got severely depressed I spent a lot of time alone ruminating on my suicidal thoughts. So any interaction with others was incredibly draining since I already didn’t have very much energy to begin with. I think all of that time curled up in my bed led me to become more introverted than I ever was before.

Sometimes I am energized by being with friends and family while other times I come away feeling absolutely exhausted. When I spend time with my family (that includes my boyfriend) and we are all eating, laughing, joking, I feel energized by that.

A month or so ago I had breakfast with a friend and then went to this art gallery event with him and a friend of his. I was so drained that I had to excuse myself and go home.

I balance somewhere in between and that’s totally fine by me. I enjoy my ambivertness which I am learning to live with each day.

Are any of you out there ambiverts or have had a shift like I have had? Let me know!

Falling behind

Do you ever feel like you are slipping on all of the responsibilities you have? I’ve been feeling that way for a few days because of forgetting something regarding my side job.

My boss reminded me to reach out to a source for a story that is due this week. I felt so stupid about it. As a professional woman I should be able to keep my shit together, right?

Since then I’ve been trying to evaluate what else I have let slide in my life. All weekend I’ve been trying to do small things that will hopefully help me to stay on top of all the things going on with work and personal life.

Cleaning

Cleaning up different areas always makes me feel like I’ve been productive in some way. Washing my makeup brushes, scrubbing the toilet and vacuuming are a few of the easier tasks that I completed to create a better environment for myself. If everything is dirty, the air feels cluttered to me and I find it difficult to function.

Exercising

I often slack on getting enough exercise especially when dealing with depression. I took time this weekend to go to the gym and punch the heavy bag in my basement. Getting out inner frustrations helped me to clear my mind and it made my body feel good.

Relaxing

Taking the time you need to recharge is incredibly important when life feels overwhelming. Having depression and anxiety, I get overwhelmed very easily so anything that I can do to calm down is essential. I watched some shows, practiced my Japanese, petted my cats and did a Target run. All of those things helped me to chill out and be ready for the week to begin.

If you’re falling behind too, I hope you got a little inspiration from this post. I know you can figure it all out in time! Leave me a comment about what you do when you feel like you need to reorganize and get balanced again!