My 2019 Mental Health Goals

In my adult life I have really been focused on taking care of my mental health. In 2019, I overall want to continue to stay in the place where I’m at right now mentally or maybe feeling even better than I do now.

1. Learn a new skill — For about 6 months or so I have been learning Japanese. I was really struggling mentally and wanted something to be able to focus on, to keep my mind from drifting into horrible places.

I chose to learn Japanese because I knew it would be challenging. I had to first learn Hiragana and Katakana which are the two main alphabets plus Kanji which are the fancy Chinese-based symbols. The Kanji and grammar are quite difficult but I’m trying my best!

So for 2019, I want to learn something else new that can challenge me in a different way. I’m not sure exactly what that will be but I’m going to figure it out.

2. Read More — I had the goal to read more last year and I did such a shit job at it. I have always loved reading but as I have become an adult, it has taken a backseat. So yes, more reading! I’m aiming to do 12 books so a book a month.

Reading gives me relief from my mental health struggles, it has always been a positive outlet for me.

Leave me a comment with your favorite book!

3. Save Money — This might not seem like something that would help my mental health, but it really has the potential to. I worry a lot about not having enough money for an emergency/retirement. I’m only 25 but I’m worrying about it now all of the time.

This year I had to spend almost all of my savings because my car was totaled over the summer and my laptop took its last breath. So right now I’m anxious about what 2019 will bring. I’m concerned that I will get in another car accident or my phone or DSLR camera will break.

4. Take Breaks When I Need It — In recent years I have learned that I need to rest regularly. To breathe for a moment and get some energy to continue on my journey. If I don’t rest, I get into a negative place where I don’t usually like being.

I am going to start a rewards system to help me rest and work. If I complete a task either at home or work, I reward myself by watching a YouTube video or an episode of a show I’m watching. (Right now I’m starting season 5 of Fairy Tale!)

This is what I have so far. I don’t want to overwhelm myself with all of these things I feel like I have to do in order to be a successful human. That right there is what my anxiety uses to tackle me to the ground and make me feel terrible.

What are some of your 2019 mental health goals?

Fear of being Fired

Lately I’ve been incredibly nervous that I’m performing poorly at my full-time job and my side hustle. Both involve me writing for two different organizations plus doing some design work and social media managing.

Let’s start at my side gig where my real anxiety lies.

I’m incredibly thankful to have something on the side to bring in some extra cash every month and give me additional writing experience. I’ve was hired in April 2017 because my boss loved the writing I did about them as a reporter.

He said, “Megan, I’m going to talk to the board and try to convince them to bring you on board.”

It all worked out! I really enjoy writing for them but my boss is a perfectionist. He might even be a robot, I’m not 100% sure though.

My anxiety tells me that my work won’t be good enough in his eyes and eventually grow tired of my work then sack me.

Here’s the thing: I have no evidence or actual reason to think that he’s displeased with my work. He continues to give me solid feedback and just gave me 3 stories to complete this month.

Anxiety tells me so frequently that my writing is bad, that I have chosen a profession that I suck at. My anxiety says that I should quit writing because nobody will ever enjoy reading it.

At my full-time job I am often asked to write in a style that I’ve never really written in before, a conversational style.

All through school and university I was instructed to write in a professional manner, to stick to the facts and leave any exaggeration or bias out of it. I am a journalist by trade so that is the way I have been trained to write.

Whenever I get my stories kicked back from my supervisor with edits up and down basically instructing me to rewrite it, I fear that I will be let go. I worry that because I struggle with a conversational writing style that they will fire me to find somebody else who excels at that.

My anxiety has always had a strong grip around my writing. I have always loved to write but my anxiety repeatedly tells me it’s all shit.

I’ve worked with my therapist about this issue for a while, clearly it’s something we need to revisit.

Stay strong and be alright, everyone!

Happy Hanukkah to all of my Jewish readers!